●●●

The hands on my body feel different. The touch is gentle yet firm. Just like how I want to be held. Has Mingyu ever held me like this before? I frown, wondering about the sudden change but it does not matter, as long as I am in his arms and I am being loved the way I want to be.

I gulp, wanting to be cherished and ruined by him.

I can feel my silk nightgown being drenched because of his wet clothes but I do not mind. I am certain he can feel my erect nipples against his chest. And I know he likes it, because I can feel the way his heart is reacting, the way he is breathing, the way he is hardening under my touch.

He, too, wants me.

"Ha-yoon" He calls my name, but his voice seems different, softer than usual. It holds an emotion I cannot help but think of as desperation.

His touch makes me feel warm, even though the cool breeze is still coming from the window. The rain keeps pouring down outside but I feel like I am standing under it, feeling each and every drop on my core.

"What is it?" I lazily ask "don't you like what I am wearing?"

"You are drunk" he says as if I do not know. I have been drinking the wine so I know that I am a little bit drunk. Or probably more.

"I am but I want you" I lift my right knee to press down on his crotch.

"Ha-yoon" He jerks my body from him and I laugh. Fuck, I guess he is eager. I feel his hands on my shoulder, shaking me. "Get yourself together, I am not him".

Him?

Who is him?

"Who?" I frown, trying to open my eyes properly to see him. But damn this alcohol in my system which is making my vision blurry.

"I-" I exhale a deep breath, my chest is rising and falling with each breath and I am sure he can see half of my cleavage since I never wear a bra at home.

Good, let him see what's his. I am all his anyway. So why should I feel ashamed when he has seen me naked hundreds of times.

I want him to look, to devour.

"Please touch me" I whisper, taking his hand in mine and pressing my cheek against his palm. His palm is warm but cold and I feel a shiver going through my body, enough to make my knees go numb.

"Fuck" I hear him curse and I smile.

"See, you want me too" I caress my thumb over his hand as his fingers brush through my cheek. I close my eyes, getting lost in the moment. My nerves are on fire and I can no longer deny the tingling sensation in my core.

I need his fingers there, need his tongue.

I will let him paint my body with his mouth, he can fill it however he likes, with kisses, with his teeth, with his fingers. Red, purple, he can paint it however he wants. In the end I will be just his masterpiece.

Only for his eyes to admire.

My fingers slowly pull his hand down, making his fingers brush on my neck until it rests on my throat. His palm is so big that it covers my whole neck. So warm and gentle. It's an exotic feeling I have always desired, just like that painting where a masculine hand is wrapped around that delicate neck.

Just like how I wanted it to be. I can feel my pulse on his palm. My breath hitched as I put more pressure on my neck, the more I did the needy I became.

I want to see his face, want to see his expression. He should know that he is not hurting me, rather making me feel something which I have wanted to feel. Something different and incredible. But I do not have the energy to open my eyes anymore.

I rest my head on his chest, being lost in the maze of my own desire and him.

I feel his fingers on my face, tucking away a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers left tingling sparks every time he touches me. Blazing the desire in my body more.

"Do you think it is wrong for me to ask you to do all those things?" I murmured against his chest, his skin is warm, despite being drenched in the rain.

"What things?" he asks as if I have not told him before. Maybe he has forgotten about it.

"This, I imagine you fucking me hard and fast while you wrap your hand around my neck like this" I let his fingers roam around my neck. It feels surreal. A sick desire that resides deep in my soul and only he can make it happen.

He tries to pull away his hand but I hold it, placing it on my waist. I hear a sharp breath from him. I wonder what is going through his head or is he planning all the ways to take me.

"Tell me you will" I cannot help but rub my nose in his chest, my right hand fist his collar. Why does he smell so good, so alluring and so mine.

The only thing I am proud of is that he is mine and no one else's.

"Shhh" My toes curl up as soon as he whispers in my ear. I find solace in him. No matter what those unwanted voices in my head say to me.

"Do you also think I have become a mess?" I cannot help but ask him. What if he also thinks like that? What if he too gives up on me like I have given up on myself. Will he leave me?

"You are not a mess Ha-yoon" He says, I feel his hand on my head, gently running his fingers through my hair. For some reason I believe him. The wine has made me confident, it made me do things which I might never do in my sober self.

Sighing against his chest I press a gentle kiss on his neck, lingering my lips on his skin for a few seconds longer before caressing his warm skin with my tongue, tasting the water and him. I feel him shiver against me.

For tonight, I just want to stay in his arms. I can feel my eyes drooping low but I refuse to let him go. His addicting musky scent is lulling me to sleep.

•••

"Ha-yoon" Someone calls my name.

I stir in my sleep, snuggling more into the warm sheets.

"Ha-yoon, wake up honey" I feel someone shaking my body and I groan, expressing my displeasure, not wanting to be disturbed.

"Ha-yoon"

My eyes snap open at that. What was that?

I blink my eyes several times to understand what is going on. The morning sun rays are coming through the window. Wait, wasn't it raining? I frown, my head feels heavy and my eyes are burning.

"You are up?"

I blink and blink. What is happening?

I lift my hand to rub my eyes, a yawn left from my mouth. I feel like I have been to another dimension. I remind myself not to drink again.

Right.

Yesterday, I was drinking wine while waiting for Mingyu to come home. Then... What happened after that?

"Here, drink this" I snap my head towards the voice, Mingyu is standing beside the bed with a glass of water.

"Gyu" I blink my eyes at him "What time is it?"

"It's already 10 am sleepyhead" He replies, giving me that glass of water. I take it, my lips feel dry and my throat is burning.

Fucking alcohol.

I bring the glass towards my lips and gulp down the cold water like I have been thirsty for days. I sigh, running my fingers through my hair.

I don't remember what happened last night.

"What happened?" I ask him, feeling tired even after sleeping for so long. At least the alcohol made me pass out.

"You were drunk and passed out in the living room" He says casually and I rub my palms over my face. I feel like shit.

While alcohol is good for a certain time the aftermath is literally a nightmare. I will not touch it from now on. For now, I bring the glass to my lips again. Nothing is better than plain water.

"Jungkook says you were wasted" My husband casually says as he takes a t-shirt from the wardrobe and puts it over his head.

I choke on my water.

Who?

"Wait-what?" I am horrified by the information "What did you just say?" My voice came out louder than I had intended.

"Jungkook said you were totally wasted last night and you were whining like a child until I put you in the bed. What a night it was" He does not notice the way I have frozen.

I stare at the wall in front of me, not knowing where I should bury myself. I gulp the saliva gathering in my mouth before looking down at my body. Above all the fucking days I had put this nightgown yesterday. The deep cut make my breasts visible, leaving nothing to the imagination and the worst I was fucking drunk.

Fuck.

I hold my head with both of my hands. I feel like crying. What exactly did I do yesterday in front of him? Did I embarrass myself in front of him? Did I say something stupid?

"But what the fuck he was doing here at that time?" I cannot believe this.

"We were working late in the office, when we were about to leave we saw that Jungkook's car's tire was flat and the rain was heavy. He said he would stay in the office but I just told him to come with me. Told him he can sleep in the guest room. It was no big deal" He says, pulling out some drawers and finding something while I just stay rooted in the bed.

"And when we reached the parking lot I told him to go first since I had to park my car and damn that watchman, he won't stop complaining about Mrs Smith on my way back. And when I reached home he literally cursed me for not coming back early".

"Did I do something" My heart is threatening to come out from my chest in fear.

"You were just drunk and passed out in his arms thinking he was me" Mingyu laughs "had I known you were missing me that much I would have come home sooner" He smirks.

"It is not funny" I say while throwing a pillow at him "what if I would have done something else thinking he was you" I am mortified by my own thoughts. I don't even want to think about it.

"It's Jungkook Ha-yoon, my best friend and he's your friend too. He will never do something like that" He says as if it was not something serious to begin with.

"He is chill about it so you should be too. Besides I don't think he likes you more than me" And that earns a groan from me. He laughed and walked out of the bedroom.

Fuck. I need to get myself together. It is probably nothing and I am just worrying unnecessarily. I sigh, I have been sighing too much lately. I feel weird and gross. Only a shower can fix myself. With much difficulty I drag my legs towards the washroom.

I lazily take my toothbrush and start brushing. I feel like I still need one or two days to actually process everything. I try to remember about last night but unfortunately I cannot.

Great, just great. I bet these two idiots would laugh and tease me about it later on. But only I know what I am actually feeling.

My hair is messy, just like a bird's nest. I splash the cold water on my face, I bet my face looks weird. And the hangover is killing me. The straps of my nightgown are falling from my shoulders without any hesitation so I just grab the hem and pull it over my head. A good shower is all I need. My muscles feel sore, I cannot wait to feel the water on my skin. I bent down to pull the only remaining cloth in my body only to gasp at the wet patch.

The fuck.

Was I ovulating or something?

Fucking, hormones.

Shaking my head I step under the shower, relaxing under the water. The water droplets slide through my body as I push back my wet hair before grabbing my favorite lavender scented shampoo. The mild fragrance always makes me calm. I gently massage my scalp with my fingers when suddenly a memory flashes through my mind. Someone else's fingers running through my hair. Mingyu might have done it last night. No wonder I was a mess last night.

I took my shower gel and lathered it on my wet body to get rid of the smell of wine. I can still feel the rich taste on my tongue even after brushing. I like that taste on my tongue and I will probably drink again but this time I will make sure I do not cause a scene in front of anyone else but my husband. But honestly, it is not entirely my fault too. How would have I known that my husband's best friend would show up unannounced at fucking 12 pm in the night.

For fuck sake.

Even though I should have been careful enough I just wanted to have a little bit of time for ourselves but in the end it was ruined.

Should I just be straightforward and ask Mingyu to take off one day and spend it with me.

Because sexual frustration is a real problem for women.

As the water rinses away all the foams from my body I find my head lighter now. I wrap the towel around my body while putting another one on my head. I wipe the fog from the mirror with my fingers, staring at my own reflection. My dark circles are so evident and my eyes look like I have been high on something. I need to take care of my skin at least.

As I stared at my reflection something caught my eyes. I frown, leaning forward to see it properly. There are small red marks around my neck. It's faint but visible.

Where did they come from?

I lift my fingers to caress them. I cannot recall having them. I have probably asked Mingyu to give them to me in my drunken state. While I know last night we did not have sex it is possible I could have asked him to. Maybe I should ask him about it.

I shrug my shoulders, continuing my daily routine without thinking much of it.

When I finally leave the bedroom I am sure it is past 11 AM. The apartment is silent apart from the occasional sound of keyboard typing. Mingyu is probably working in the living room. Deciding not to disturb him I silently walk towards the kitchen, to make something for myself.

I am craving something sour and spicy so I decided to make brunch. I remember having some chicken and vegetables in the fridge, I can definitely make something with them. But just as I was about to step forward a voice stopped me.

"There's food on the dining table".

I stop at my track, my eyes widening at the sudden familiar voice. I turn my head around to witness Jungkook sitting in the living room. His eyes on me, fingers on the keyboard of a laptop.

What is he doing here?

Right. Mingyu did tell me he stayed at the guest room.

"Oh" I say while staring at me. No matter how many times Mingyu assures me I still feel embarrassed about my behavior even though I was not at fault.

But Jungkook looks unbothered. He's wearing one of Mingyu's t-shirts and grey trousers. His hair is damp and reading glasses are set above his nose. And his sharp eyes are staring at me, I feel small under his gaze. Probably because of the shame. I do not know what to say, I am just standing here in my own home like an absolute idiot.

"You should eat before the food gets cold" He says, averting his eyes from me and focusing on the laptop.

He's really unbothered.

I exhale a sigh of relief and sit down on the chair. There's actually some food on the table. I look down at the small pots covering its lids.

Who made them?

Well, why do I care anyway as long as I get to eat without doing anything.

I took the spoon and one by one uncovered all the lids. My eyes lit up with happiness as soon as I saw the chicken soup. I dip the spoon into the soup and bring it towards my lips. A satisfied moan left from my mouth at the taste. It's so good. I continue to eat my food.

"Eat some rice too" Mingyu comes towards me with a smile on his face while holding his phone to his ear. He crouches down to my level and places a kiss on my lips. I literally melted at that. I cannot help but lick my lips.

If we were alone he would probably be fucking me in the same dining table while bending me over it. But alas! I need to control myself for a little while I guess. I rubbed my thighs together and just decided to focus on my meal.

"It's done" Jungkook says from the living room and I watch Mingyu striding towards him.

"What's done?" I ask curiously.

"Should I tell her?" Mingyu smirks and looks at Jungkook who in response just shrugs his shoulders.

What is happening?

"Well" Mingyu excitedly claps his hands and I waited patiently for the surprise to unfold "Remember that deal me and Jungkook were talking about that day?"

I nod my head.

"Well, we got the deal," Mingyu exclaimed and came back to me to place another kiss on my lips.

"That's wonderful, congratulations" I feel happy and I wrap my hands around his neck as he suddenly lifts me in his arms "Mingyu, put me down" I laugh, throwing back my head. He is so happy. And I am too.

"And guess what, we are going to Paris next week to close the deal and you are coming with me" He informs me and I gasp.

What?

"What did you just say?" I ask him, wanting him to repeat his words one more time.

"We are going to Paris, we can stay for a few days together" My heart felt like it would burst with happiness.

"But-" I tried to ask him if it's really okay for him to have a few days off.

"I know we need a vacation and this is an opportunity. After finalising everything we are going to explore Paris and have fun" He winks at me, and I very well know what he is trying to say.

I cannot believe it is actually happening.

•••

"Look at you, all ready to be fucked in your second honeymoon" Lia whistles, her eyes staring up and down at my figure as I stand in front of her, wearing a blue backlash satin dress.

I roll my eyes at her "It is not a honeymoon, just a simple vacation" I tell her, looking at myself in the mirror. But knowing my best friends they will not stop teasing me.

"Honeymoon or not we know you are definitely getting fucked" Sunmi too joins in the teasing and I huff.

"And why is it a big deal? Married people have sex all the time" I try to defend myself but deep down I too know it. From the moment Mingyu has informed me that we are going to Paris I have been happy, wanting to make this vacation memorable.

And what's better than buying new clothes with my girlfriends.

So here we are, on a Sunday evening, trying to buy clothes for myself.

"It's like saying we eat food at home all the time then why bother going to restaurants and trying new recipes" Sunmi says and I just shake my head, I can never win an argument with these two menaces. "You know it is the thrill that keeps us alive, trying different things to spice up our boring life".

"Is that why you end up getting pregnant before any of us?" Lia snickers and pushes Sunmi's shoulder lightly.

"You get pregnant if you have sex, that's completely normal you idiot" Sunmi flickers her finger on Lia's forehead who whines dramatically.

"Yeah, and this is why you should use protection" I reply.

"Ha-Yoon, my holy child, once you do it raw there's no going back" Sunmi's voice is loud and I quickly look around to check if someone is listening to us.

"Bitch we are at a store not in your fucking apartment" Lia whisper yells.

"So, what? It's the truth. You know it too or your Taehyung doesn't give it to you anymore?" Sunmi teases her and I watch how her cheeks get red.

"Shut up you bitch" Lia quickly tries to cover Sunmi's mouth.

"Wait, what am I missing?" I curiously ask, my eyes lingering on both of them suspiciously.

Sunmi laughs, the kind of laugh that actually makes you believe that she knows something and you don't. "Lia asked Taehyung to not use protection and this whore right here loved it so much that now she refuses to use protection".

What the?

My mouth hung open.

None of my friends are single. While Sunmi got married two years ago and is happy with her husband and their baby girl, Lia on the other hand was not into believing relationships until she met Taehyung a few months ago. All of our sex lives are kind of known to each other so imagine my surprise when I get to know something really unexpected.

"Lia, is that true?" I turn towards her, expressing my disbelief. I clearly remember her saying that she will never have sex with anyone without using protection.

She groans, hiding her face with her hands "I just couldn't resist him" she answers me as if I will understand.

"What do you mean you couldn't resist him?" this is insane, why am I the last one knowing all of this?

"Like have you seen that man?" Sunmi interrupts.

Well yes, I have seen Taehyung. And I do appreciate a handsome man when I see one and he's literally that man. You are bound to look twice at his way no matter what and he has this aura that screams power and dominance. At a very young age he has managed to become one of the best criminal lawyers in Seoul but honestly there's something about him which makes me worried for Lia sometimes.

They met at court, fighting a case against each other. The sexual tension was so high even the judges could tell. And then, they ended up sleeping with each other. And now all of these.

Damn, my head has started to hurt.

"He's not that great honestly" Lia rolls her eyes, me and Sunmi both know she's lying. She is still denying it but deep down she's in down bad for him.

"Girl what are you saying? He is".

"Not more than Jungkook honestly?" Lia says, trying to put a stop on the conversation.

Now, why is Jungkook even mentioned?

"Are you still stuck there or what?" Sunmi laughs. I cannot believe these two. We are here to shop.

"Well, not stuck but you know right?" Lia winks at us.

She had a crush on him until Taehyung came into the picture.

"He's cold as ice, don't know why you even like him" Sunmi raises her eyebrow and I'm too quick to defend him "he's not".

"Come on, Ha-Yoon" Sunmi sighs "Just because he's your husband's best friend doesn't mean he's that great. You know how cold his personality is. But still girls die over him".

"Because we love guys like that. I bet it's just a facade, he's all softie from inside".

"Be practical, that shit exists only in novels" Sunmi shakes her head.

"The only reason I wanted to chase him was because I had heard that he is good in bed. He probably fucks like he means it"

Now where is this coming from?

"Can we please not talk about him like that?" I say, trying not to imagine anything in my head because that's just so wrong. He's a friend, and I do not want to imagine something like that about him.

For other people Jeon Jungkook is an enigma, he's cold and rude but I have seen him from close up, he's not like that at all. He cares for the people around him.

While it's true that he hides his true self under his cold personality.

Like most of us.

•••

Shopping is exhausting. But at least I got to spend time with my friends. It feels good to be out with them after a long time. Even though we all are busy with our lives we always try to make time for each other.

I stare at all the shopping bags and place my hands on my waist. I was supposed to buy only a few dresses but they made me buy so many clothes and Lia had the audacity to buy me blue lingerie. Like when I'm supposed to wear it?

Mingyu is not at home, he is out with Jungkook, probably celebrating. While I too have the urge to drink I try to avoid it as much as possible.

I shall do something, but what?

I walk towards the wardrobe to put the shopping bags inside and close it with a sigh. I need to change my clothes as soon as possible. As I am about to walk towards the washroom I find the shirt Mingyu was wearing earlier, it was lying abandoned on the bed. I shake my head and take it, it definitely needs to be washed.

But I decided to just put it on, so I will wash it tomorrow. Besides, I love Mingyu's scent, it's soothing.

After wearing it I leave the bedroom and walk inside my studio. I need to organize it. While I am avoiding to paint, I just can't stay away.

I sit in front of the white canvas, staring intently at it. I take the blue color, smearing it on my fingers. Then with patience I stroke my fingers against the white canvas.

I imagine myself being surrounded by his masculine scent just like I am wearing his shirt now. I can feel him on me, so close yet so far.

How will he react upon seeing me wearing his shirt, only his shirt. I will spread my legs for him to see how his shirt is covering my thighs. He will be proud but at the same time he will want it gone from my body.

All I want is his touch.

Maybe I am so deprived of sex that I feel like I cannot wait anymore. The imagination alone is pushing me towards the edge of insanity.

•••

I stir in my sleep, the distant sound wakes me up. I try to adjust my vision in the darkness.

"Gyu?" I gently whisper.

I feel the space beside me dip as he pulls me towards his chest "Sorry, did I wake you?" Mingyu quickly apologized, wrapping his hand around my waist. I feel his warm breath on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"It's okay" I say while turning around. I can see his tired face under the dim light. A guilt settled down in my heart. I remember the months I have spent inside my studio just to finish my paintings, not once he asked me to focus on him but I knew he craved it. But now that I am missing his warmth he's tired from all the work.

I really want to spend time with him, to make each other feel the presence of us, again.

I snuggle into his chest, wrapping my hands around him. I rub my nose on his chest. I want to make him feel better but suddenly a vague memory flashes through my mind.

I frown, not understanding what it was.

"What is it?" He asks and I shake my head.

It is probably nothing. I caress his back with my fingers while placing gentle kisses on his skin. He sighs and hovers above me. His warm breath on my neck as he caresses my inner thigh. I spread my legs for him as he put his lips on my neck, leaving a trail of kisses on my skin.

I sigh and close my eyes. I am willing to take whatever he will give me. I pull his body closer to mine until I am feeling his hardness between my legs.

His fingers open the buttons of the shirt I am wearing while his mouth left kisses on my neck.

I moan as I feel him grinding on my core. I fist his t-shirt, wanting it gone from his body.

I want him.

I pull on the t-shirt, touching his bare back with my hands while his fingers caress me over my panties.

"Mingyu please" I beg, he knows I want him. I hear him rummaging through the drawers, probably taking out a condom. I want to ask him to not use it. I want to feel him without any barriers. I want to know how it feels.

Maybe some other day.

My hold on his body tightened, feeling him entering. Both of us are breathing heavily, the only sound that could be heard in the silent room. He groaned, pushing himself more.

I whimper, feeling him inside me but it's not enough. I ran my fingers through his hair but soon frowned, not finding something that I have been looking for. What am I looking for?

"Ha-Yoon" He calls my name, but his voice seems different, softer than usual. It holds an emotion I cannot help but think of as desperation.

I snap my eyes open at the memory.

•••